24 things I have learned within the past 23 years:
1. Never say never when it comes to: God, guys, and Guiness. You’ll always be proven wrong. Period.
2. Don’t make fun of those of the same sex. One day you will (or have) cry at a movie, lay in a tanning bed, gossip, walk down the isle (and be pretty darn excited about it), and be emotional. And yes, God has a good sense of humor, that’s why He made you a woman.
3. Comics are cool. No matter what anyone says.
4. Your dad is not perfect.
5. Your mom is not perfect.
6. YOU are not perfect.
7. Its more about quality than quantity...esp. when it comes to friends, dates, shoes, books, and yoga classes.
8. Yoga is hard.
9. Santa is not real. Shoot.
10. Prussian blue oil paint makes you speechless.
11. gasp! You like your curves!!! Who knew?!?!
12. Its ok to be alone...
13. Don’t put air in your tire thinking that “I’ll just visually estimate how much” is good enough. Gauages are good. Use them.
14. Forming an emotional attachment to an animal, such as a cat, and naming it after a bird in another language is not exactly normal. It's ok. Someone will understand.
15. The main artery (or is it a vein…) of a blue whale is so large that the child of the average age 3-4 could crawl through it.
16. You will strangely go from hating something to loving it, this includes sparkling/carbonated water, black licorice, tomatos, deep/bright pink, beer, opera music...
17. 2+2 does NOT equal 5... unless it’s a Radiohead song. (you’ve always been bad at math.)
18. Its not good to cook with your usual metal utensils. It makes them turn from shiny to a dull gray color within a slow period of time.
19. Home Shopping Network sucks.
20. Turkey bacon is awesome…but bacon cooked by a Brubaker is even more awesome.
21. Art does exist in ministry.
22. You pretty much look the same as you did when you were five. A lot of people have told you this. Deal with it. And yes, you still get carded.
23. Too much of something is usually not a good thing...this includes celery, green tea, and soy sauce.
24. Love is a verb, not a feeling. You found that Christ knew a lot about this.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
what i don't want...
You know when you have way too many thoughts flowing around in your mind, therefore too many different emotions are running through your heart? Your mind just will not shut off. I’ve been having those type of days….
I am also finding that while having an overload of internal movement I’m having a hard time articulating myself when I speak with people. I’m having a hard time finding my words. People who know me know that I usually talk a lot, and conversation just flows like a river. Actually, I take that back. It flows like a raging river…maybe the Colorado river? (sometimes I just don’t shut up)… As a whole that’s still the case (at least in my thoughts)…but for the past couple weeks, I’ve kept my conversations pretty simple in comparison to the usual, and the reason why they’ve been simple is because I can’t quite do otherwise.
…while driving, I think I realized why I’m experiencing this.
I think I’m suppose to be listening to God more. I think there is something He wants to tell me, but I’m distracted.
So, I’m listening (and still being pretty awkward in conversation…being involuntarily stumped for words….)
…Anyways, side note: a couple days ago I was being encouraged to think otherwise about what we place value on…
What made me think of this was spending the night at a house where a close friend was house-sitting at…
This house was…well…it was freaking HUGE house. A Tuscan-style castle that I got lost in. I’m not even kidding.
I got lost, FIVE times.
Drove me crazy.
Anyways, after spending an evening and night in this house, one would think, “is this something I would want?” or, “would I desire this?”.
It’s strange, because, on a worldly standpoint, I could say, “sure, why not?” I’m talking about the babygrand piano. The large pillars that cascade down the hall. A fridge that you literally can walk in (its 3 times bigger than my closet).
The Bently in the garage.
When I left the house the next morning, everything had a sense of nostalgia. I was actually somewhat disoriented and disturbed.
Let me completely rephrase this into an analogy. For you men out there, you might understand this.
This house is like a beautiful woman.
She is your ideal woman physically, striking in every way possible.
You can’t take your eyes off her. Her presence is an overload, and you’re speechless when she walks in the room. And when she does walk in the room, every other woman wants to be her, and every man wants her.
She is the epitome of refinement and beauty.
*and then I realized, this house doesn’t have a library.
And then you realize, that physical beauty fades.
And she doesn’t have much of a personality.
And she doesn’t really care about God.
And you think, “huh. I don’t really want this.”
And that’s what I thought about the house.
Sometimes things that we consider of great value, keep us from experiencing other things that are even greater. I know this depends on the person, and that’s ok…but it even came down to the bed. For example, the bed in the master bedroom is a very, very, very nice bed. The comforter was so nice that nothing could be left on top of it (it was that expensive). I’m just thinking…that would be no good to me. When I think of the home I’d reside in by the time I’d have kids…I would hope that my bed would be nothing like this. I want my little kids running in the “parents” bedroom, excited on Christmas morning, jumping up and down top of the bed trying to wake their mom and dad up. I just don’t want to miss out on little things like that.
And, the sad thing is that this family who lives in this house (two little kids, perfect age for jumping up on their parents bed) will probably never experience something like that.
I know that seems small, but I don’t think it is. I’ve never marked huge events in my life as the pillars of significance (ie: graduation, job promotion, 21st birthday…you know, the things that society tells us its more important than the rest).
Its always been the relationships and little things that gets imbedded in the back of my mind and heart…
I am also finding that while having an overload of internal movement I’m having a hard time articulating myself when I speak with people. I’m having a hard time finding my words. People who know me know that I usually talk a lot, and conversation just flows like a river. Actually, I take that back. It flows like a raging river…maybe the Colorado river? (sometimes I just don’t shut up)… As a whole that’s still the case (at least in my thoughts)…but for the past couple weeks, I’ve kept my conversations pretty simple in comparison to the usual, and the reason why they’ve been simple is because I can’t quite do otherwise.
…while driving, I think I realized why I’m experiencing this.
I think I’m suppose to be listening to God more. I think there is something He wants to tell me, but I’m distracted.
So, I’m listening (and still being pretty awkward in conversation…being involuntarily stumped for words….)
…Anyways, side note: a couple days ago I was being encouraged to think otherwise about what we place value on…
What made me think of this was spending the night at a house where a close friend was house-sitting at…
This house was…well…it was freaking HUGE house. A Tuscan-style castle that I got lost in. I’m not even kidding.
I got lost, FIVE times.
Drove me crazy.
Anyways, after spending an evening and night in this house, one would think, “is this something I would want?” or, “would I desire this?”.
It’s strange, because, on a worldly standpoint, I could say, “sure, why not?” I’m talking about the babygrand piano. The large pillars that cascade down the hall. A fridge that you literally can walk in (its 3 times bigger than my closet).
The Bently in the garage.
When I left the house the next morning, everything had a sense of nostalgia. I was actually somewhat disoriented and disturbed.
Let me completely rephrase this into an analogy. For you men out there, you might understand this.
This house is like a beautiful woman.
She is your ideal woman physically, striking in every way possible.
You can’t take your eyes off her. Her presence is an overload, and you’re speechless when she walks in the room. And when she does walk in the room, every other woman wants to be her, and every man wants her.
She is the epitome of refinement and beauty.
*and then I realized, this house doesn’t have a library.
And then you realize, that physical beauty fades.
And she doesn’t have much of a personality.
And she doesn’t really care about God.
And you think, “huh. I don’t really want this.”
And that’s what I thought about the house.
Sometimes things that we consider of great value, keep us from experiencing other things that are even greater. I know this depends on the person, and that’s ok…but it even came down to the bed. For example, the bed in the master bedroom is a very, very, very nice bed. The comforter was so nice that nothing could be left on top of it (it was that expensive). I’m just thinking…that would be no good to me. When I think of the home I’d reside in by the time I’d have kids…I would hope that my bed would be nothing like this. I want my little kids running in the “parents” bedroom, excited on Christmas morning, jumping up and down top of the bed trying to wake their mom and dad up. I just don’t want to miss out on little things like that.
And, the sad thing is that this family who lives in this house (two little kids, perfect age for jumping up on their parents bed) will probably never experience something like that.
I know that seems small, but I don’t think it is. I’ve never marked huge events in my life as the pillars of significance (ie: graduation, job promotion, 21st birthday…you know, the things that society tells us its more important than the rest).
Its always been the relationships and little things that gets imbedded in the back of my mind and heart…
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
last night
“There is no judgement awaiting those who trust Him…” –john 3:18
Where there is trust there is influence.
Where there is influence there is change.
Where there is change, there is growth.
So then, trust=growth.
I’m growing a bit right now.
Where there is trust there is influence.
Where there is influence there is change.
Where there is change, there is growth.
So then, trust=growth.
I’m growing a bit right now.
"umbrella tangled mess"
so graciously entrusted to me by Mr. Wonderful himself: Joshua Oothoudt...
i can now enjoy this beautiful mix created by Radio Paradise.
Disc One
1. beautiful way - beck
2. everything is broken - bob dylan
3. such great heights - iron & wine
4. saving grace - tom petty
5. as heaven is wide - garbage
6. red hill mining town - u2
7. bittersweet - big head todd and the monsters
8. head up high - black rebel motorcycle club
9. red light indicates doors are closed - arctic monkeys
10. cast your coat - calexico
11. the man who told everything - the doves
12. annie waits - ben folds
13. seven nation army - white stripes
14. the shining - badly drawn boy
15. 3 lil birds - bob marley
Disc Two
1. speed of sound - coldplay
2. traveling riverside band - led zeppelin
3. the wait - built to spill
4. so close, so far away - derek trucks band
5. whiskey blues - muddy waters
6. hello goodbye - beatles
7. today - smashing pumpkins
8. i'm waiting for the man - david bowie
9. tupelo honey - van morrison
10. mushaboom - feist
11. the devil's got my woman - taj mahal & ry cooder
12. who am i telling you - eric clapton & jj cale
13. ohio - crosby stills nash & young
14. the moment i said it - imogen heap
15. letter from america - the proclaimers
16. underdog - turin brakes
Disc Three
1. morning yearning - ben harper
2. run - snow patrol
3. rusted wheel - silversun pickups
4. st. simon - the shins
5. rockin' in the free world - pearl jam
6. lucky - radiohead
7. for us - pete yorn
8. everyday people - sly and the family stone
9. highway 61 revisited - bob dylan
10. jumping someone elses train - the cure
11. rhinoceraus - smashing pumpkins
12. from the rite to the rumble - arctic monkeys
13. the runner - kings of leon
14. secret heart - feist
15. bouncin' round the room - phish
16. i will follow - u2
17. it ain't me babe - johnny cash
18. the way we get by - spoon
:)
i can now enjoy this beautiful mix created by Radio Paradise.
Disc One
1. beautiful way - beck
2. everything is broken - bob dylan
3. such great heights - iron & wine
4. saving grace - tom petty
5. as heaven is wide - garbage
6. red hill mining town - u2
7. bittersweet - big head todd and the monsters
8. head up high - black rebel motorcycle club
9. red light indicates doors are closed - arctic monkeys
10. cast your coat - calexico
11. the man who told everything - the doves
12. annie waits - ben folds
13. seven nation army - white stripes
14. the shining - badly drawn boy
15. 3 lil birds - bob marley
Disc Two
1. speed of sound - coldplay
2. traveling riverside band - led zeppelin
3. the wait - built to spill
4. so close, so far away - derek trucks band
5. whiskey blues - muddy waters
6. hello goodbye - beatles
7. today - smashing pumpkins
8. i'm waiting for the man - david bowie
9. tupelo honey - van morrison
10. mushaboom - feist
11. the devil's got my woman - taj mahal & ry cooder
12. who am i telling you - eric clapton & jj cale
13. ohio - crosby stills nash & young
14. the moment i said it - imogen heap
15. letter from america - the proclaimers
16. underdog - turin brakes
Disc Three
1. morning yearning - ben harper
2. run - snow patrol
3. rusted wheel - silversun pickups
4. st. simon - the shins
5. rockin' in the free world - pearl jam
6. lucky - radiohead
7. for us - pete yorn
8. everyday people - sly and the family stone
9. highway 61 revisited - bob dylan
10. jumping someone elses train - the cure
11. rhinoceraus - smashing pumpkins
12. from the rite to the rumble - arctic monkeys
13. the runner - kings of leon
14. secret heart - feist
15. bouncin' round the room - phish
16. i will follow - u2
17. it ain't me babe - johnny cash
18. the way we get by - spoon
:)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
my new baby....
i have a new addition to my life:
...and i love her! :)
...and i am now part of the (red) revolution...
...and i love her! :)
...and i am now part of the (red) revolution...
2 + 2 = 5 (the lukewarm)
I've recently revisited an old friend.
"hail to the thief"
i guess he's not that old (june 10, 2003 - i can still remember when and who gave it to me as a gift)....but it has been a while since i've let an album spin over and over...round and round
(with my ipod constantly on shuffle and all....)
point being:
"the lukewarm" is still my favorite on the album and my idea of personified genius.
(as much as a song can be personified.....i'd like to believe that all songs have the capability)
it is just amazing. yeah thom is a brilliant musician,
(no one would or could ever debate that)
and yeah he's a little weird,
(everyone should admit that)
but he's great...wonderful...uncompairable. i wish i knew more bigger and cooler words to adequately describe him more colorfully and beautifully.
(he does deserve it)
"i'll stay home forever
where two and two
always makes up five"
"hail to the thief"
i guess he's not that old (june 10, 2003 - i can still remember when and who gave it to me as a gift)....but it has been a while since i've let an album spin over and over...round and round
(with my ipod constantly on shuffle and all....)
point being:
"the lukewarm" is still my favorite on the album and my idea of personified genius.
(as much as a song can be personified.....i'd like to believe that all songs have the capability)
it is just amazing. yeah thom is a brilliant musician,
(no one would or could ever debate that)
and yeah he's a little weird,
(everyone should admit that)
but he's great...wonderful...uncompairable. i wish i knew more bigger and cooler words to adequately describe him more colorfully and beautifully.
(he does deserve it)
"i'll stay home forever
where two and two
always makes up five"
Friday, August 10, 2007
don't give away the end
7-8 months ago I looked at my age on myspace (haha, make fun of me, its fine)...and I thought, "hmm. 23. I'm really not that old. I'm actually really really young. I'm young! weird! yeah!!" (pump fist in the air as if its some accomplishment)
It actually hit me for the first time...all the assumptions of what a 23 year old/young adult is suppose to be doing (or have done) flew out the window.
You know, the typical list:
1)graduate from high school
2) graduate from college
3) get a job
4) get a boyfriend/girlfriend
5) that b/f or g/f turns into a fiance
6) get married
7) buy a house
8) have kids.....
I think those are basics that society gererally puts on us young folks....especially Christian young folks...got all those young marriages... (did i just use the word "Folks"?). Now I'm not saying that I DON'T want that stuff...I mean I have #'s 1 & 3 done....#2 is in process and....err....#4 is a little vague along with everything else below it, I'm just thinking...
I don't want a normal check list.
I don't think that what society tells us what's suppose to make you or me content is any guarentee for fullfillment (and thats ususally what people look for or bank on). Call me restless (because maybe I am)...but I want stability within movement. I want to be so close to Christ that wherever I go I see Him- and travel to another country and maybe paint in France for a year (partly because I want to learn French and be able to sing in French when i sing my first kid to sleep), or work on some HUGE sailing ship for a summer, and get my masters in another state and have dinner conversations with buddists and taoists from my classes, and blare Bob Dylan from my bakery and talk with people and artists as they walk in, backpack through Europe with my future husband (I will show him the window where Michelangelo lived...) while doing ministry in the most unexpected way possible....
What is neccessary for us to BE (not feel) content?...and does it resemble a check-list?
And, maybe that check-list is just formatted for how you or I are wired....or......do we "settle"?
So this Jimmy Eat World song...one part goes:
"You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine"
This makes me think of God...and that if I do "sit" forever and just "wait"...nothing will happen. (true) I guess I was driving down the freeway watching the orange lights flicker past thinking, ok, whats holding me back? And, the "Don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine"...I don't want God to give the end away to me. I don't want to know. And, I have NO CLUE...but even more...I don't want to just "settle".
I think I've always been like that, trying not to "settle"...but at the same time, I've done worse. Sometimes (and lets say with my art and creativity) its not a matter of settling...but not doing anything at all.
I was just thinking.....
....and thinking that my list is nothing what I could assume.
It actually hit me for the first time...all the assumptions of what a 23 year old/young adult is suppose to be doing (or have done) flew out the window.
You know, the typical list:
1)graduate from high school
2) graduate from college
3) get a job
4) get a boyfriend/girlfriend
5) that b/f or g/f turns into a fiance
6) get married
7) buy a house
8) have kids.....
I think those are basics that society gererally puts on us young folks....especially Christian young folks...got all those young marriages... (did i just use the word "Folks"?). Now I'm not saying that I DON'T want that stuff...I mean I have #'s 1 & 3 done....#2 is in process and....err....#4 is a little vague along with everything else below it, I'm just thinking...
I don't want a normal check list.
I don't think that what society tells us what's suppose to make you or me content is any guarentee for fullfillment (and thats ususally what people look for or bank on). Call me restless (because maybe I am)...but I want stability within movement. I want to be so close to Christ that wherever I go I see Him- and travel to another country and maybe paint in France for a year (partly because I want to learn French and be able to sing in French when i sing my first kid to sleep), or work on some HUGE sailing ship for a summer, and get my masters in another state and have dinner conversations with buddists and taoists from my classes, and blare Bob Dylan from my bakery and talk with people and artists as they walk in, backpack through Europe with my future husband (I will show him the window where Michelangelo lived...) while doing ministry in the most unexpected way possible....
What is neccessary for us to BE (not feel) content?...and does it resemble a check-list?
And, maybe that check-list is just formatted for how you or I are wired....or......do we "settle"?
So this Jimmy Eat World song...one part goes:
"You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine"
This makes me think of God...and that if I do "sit" forever and just "wait"...nothing will happen. (true) I guess I was driving down the freeway watching the orange lights flicker past thinking, ok, whats holding me back? And, the "Don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine"...I don't want God to give the end away to me. I don't want to know. And, I have NO CLUE...but even more...I don't want to just "settle".
I think I've always been like that, trying not to "settle"...but at the same time, I've done worse. Sometimes (and lets say with my art and creativity) its not a matter of settling...but not doing anything at all.
I was just thinking.....
....and thinking that my list is nothing what I could assume.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
this is the randomness that woke me up at 3:00 am....
...i've got some weird friends :)
(he's wearing a d-backs hat though....he can't be all bad)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
As you may, or may not know, I have accepted the challenge and am participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in June of 2008.
Every three minutes, another woman in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer! I was shocked to learn how prevalent this horrible disease has become in our country. This issue quickly became very near and dear to my heart!
I am eager to get started with my fundraising and I need your support! I have pledged to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer as part of my participation in the walk. Contributions will help to support medical research into the possible causes of and cure for breast cancer, education and early detection programs, and clinical care and support services for women with breast cancer in communities across the country. There is a special focus on helping medically underserved women, the poor, minorities, the elderly, or those with inadequate health insurance. And much of the money granted by the Foundation goes back to the communities where it was raised, supporting everything from local grassroots programs to national organizations.
It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make a donation online by simply clicking on the link to my personal walk page! Whatever you can give will help! I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.
Thank you for your support; you really do make a difference.
Click here to visit my personal page.
happy birthday Michaela!
today little michaela budd turned 2! this is the giant cupcake i made her for her birthday! :)
when asked "michaela, what do you want for your birthday?" ....
she responded, "BIG CAKE!"
when asked "michaela, what do you want for your birthday?" ....
she responded, "BIG CAKE!"
Sunday, August 05, 2007
"beautiful disaster....."
I was driving home tonight and the windows were down and the music was so loud and I was happy.
I was happy and things were fine and I was going home because Grey's Anatomy doesn't just watch itself.
I was fine with life the way it was, really. I was happy. And then the radio said I could be Caller Twenty and I could win tickets to 311. I can admit that Creatures and Down are practically the same song. I can admit that I bought a few of their albums and don't ever actually listen to them because, really, it's all the same.
But I still would love to see them in concert. And I would still love to win tickets on the radio. A couple weekends ago they were giving away Dave Matthews tickets and I actually listened to a different radio station because I couldn't handle the disappointment.
But it was such a surprise tonight and it was late enough that I knew I had a chance so I dialed real quick like and the phone! it was ringing! RINGING! Aside from that one other blog-worthy time I've always gotten a busy signal. But not tonight.
My spirits rose, my heart rate quickened, and I counted the rings. After four I panicked and thought I had dialed the wrong number. I looked at my phone, psyched myself out, and hung up. I redialed and IT WAS BUSY.
BUSY SIGNAL.
Of course, I hadn't dialed incorrectly. The ringing was because I was actually going to get through. I could have had it. I could have been Caller Twenty.
But no. I had to be stupid and hang up. Awesome.
I was happy and things were fine and I was going home because Grey's Anatomy doesn't just watch itself.
I was fine with life the way it was, really. I was happy. And then the radio said I could be Caller Twenty and I could win tickets to 311. I can admit that Creatures and Down are practically the same song. I can admit that I bought a few of their albums and don't ever actually listen to them because, really, it's all the same.
But I still would love to see them in concert. And I would still love to win tickets on the radio. A couple weekends ago they were giving away Dave Matthews tickets and I actually listened to a different radio station because I couldn't handle the disappointment.
But it was such a surprise tonight and it was late enough that I knew I had a chance so I dialed real quick like and the phone! it was ringing! RINGING! Aside from that one other blog-worthy time I've always gotten a busy signal. But not tonight.
My spirits rose, my heart rate quickened, and I counted the rings. After four I panicked and thought I had dialed the wrong number. I looked at my phone, psyched myself out, and hung up. I redialed and IT WAS BUSY.
BUSY SIGNAL.
Of course, I hadn't dialed incorrectly. The ringing was because I was actually going to get through. I could have had it. I could have been Caller Twenty.
But no. I had to be stupid and hang up. Awesome.
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