The $2 Bill

The $2 Bill.
Everyone should start carrying them!

I am STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and
bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't know they exist.

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill
and a $2 bill.

I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to
eat and not have to worry about anyone getting
irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to
go "

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my
billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it
kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within
my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of
them:

Se rver: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No. A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager:"Ask for something else. There's no such
thing as a $2 bill."

Server: "Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these.
Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills?
Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah.

"Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching
me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says
I have to take it."

Manager:"Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can
open the safe and get change "

Manager:"I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to c ome back later when he has
real money."

Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but
we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a
two dollar bill."

Manager:"We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"
Manager:"I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager:"Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager:"Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager:"Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager:"Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall
security on the phone around the corner. I have two
people staring at me from the dining area, and I
begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few
minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me
some (pause) funny money."

Guard:"No kidding! What?"

Manager:"Get this .. A two dollar bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two
dollar bill?"

Manager:"I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says
the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard:"Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager:"No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard:"Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager:"I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get
him out of here?"

Guard:"Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard:"Mike here tells me you have some fake bills
you're trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Guard:"Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but
I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a
burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I
put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like
I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns
it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey,
Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager:"It's fake."

Guard:"It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard:"Yeah?"

Manager:"Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no
clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he
threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon
thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of
two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try
to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I
could probably end up in jail. You get free food
there, too

Just think...those two will be voting
soon...........