Pretend to be a secret agent. No one can know. This Book was a pretext to get in touch with you. Your government needs you. Don't look up now, they are watching. Meet at 13:00 today outside work. Wave at the gray car. It will pick you up and take you to the secret redenzvous. Good luck. P.S. Tear this page out and swallow it.
I should preface the following by stating that if you read this post you will be killed...
I started the day by listening to "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers to get in the mood. I also donned a mask, but I couldn't find a wig. At 13:00 hours, I went outside to wave to the gray car. They waved pleasantly, but did not stop. A second gray car passed several minutes later. Again, a friendly return wave, but they did not come back for me. I went out into the middle of the street, to force the issue. When I saw the next gray car approaching, I jumped out in front of it. It came screeching to a halt, and I waved. This driver was not as friendly as the previous two. Then, a police car came onto the scene. Knowing that the lowly local cops are not often included in "Federal Business" I knew I needed to escape. I darted off the road and barrel rolled into some shrubbery. Unfortunately, I landed on my keys. That really hurts.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, March 02, 2007
oh man....this sounds so much like me!
One oh my favorite bloggers wrote this and i laughed because it is TOTALLY something i would do!
"
i work in an office. working in an office is a lot like being in high school. you go there in the morning, sit at your desk, have lunch in the lunchroom. you get the weekends off. on holidays you have little parties with cupcakes and all that kind of crap. sometimes they try to bribe you do extra work with the promise of a pizza party. (you mean i can work tons of overtime and never do anything fun, then, at the end of the month, get to have some lukewarm pizza at my desk? AWESOME, i don't even like pizza!) at least that is what it is like at my job.
a week or so before valentine's day, they put out this flyer saying that we were gonna have a party, and everyone was gonna pass out valentines and they were gonna have a contest for the best valentines mailbox. you know, like the shoebox things from elementary school.
i was real jazzed. i mean, i am not all about "participating". i think it is some kind of leftover thing from when i was some high school. i just don't get into that stuff. but the valentines mailbox was right up my alley. i just love that kind of crafty crap. and i was pretty convinced that i would be able to completely WHOOP ASS. IN YOUR FACE, ACCOUNTING!!! SUCK ON MY AWESOME VALENTINES MAILBOX, EFF-ING INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY DEPARTMENT!!!!! whew.
so, i went to CVS, all power-hungry. i had my eyes on the prize. i got all kinds of tissue-paper and glue, and i got this irridescent blue paper stuff. i got the sweetest-shaped box. i went home, and parked out at the kitchen table. i cut all the tissue paper into one-inch squares. then i started glueing little tufts of tissue paper on the box, slowly and methodically. super anal-retentive. i was gonna make the fluffiest and romantic box ever.
(one hour later)
guy: what are you doing?
me: making a valentines box for the contest at work.
guy: what is the prize?
me: i dunno. power. EXTREME POWER
guy: i bet the prize is candy. you are gonna feel real dumb when you spend two days making a valentines box, and you just win candy. you don't even eat candy.
me: the prize is POWER. maybe it will be candy, but the candy will come with great power.
(three hours later)
my fingers started hurting like none other. the box was only an eighth of the way done. tufting takes forever. i seemed to forget the last time when i tufted something, and it took me a month to make a penguin-shaped pinata. things started to look bleak.
the next day after work, i started working on it again. i had to have it done the next day. i put a couple more tufts on it, and then i sat in the bathtub and read cosmo for two hours and went to bed.
i don't even think i went to work that day. the sheer thought of all the power left me so weak that not only could i not finish my valentines box, i had to take a sick day.
"
"
i work in an office. working in an office is a lot like being in high school. you go there in the morning, sit at your desk, have lunch in the lunchroom. you get the weekends off. on holidays you have little parties with cupcakes and all that kind of crap. sometimes they try to bribe you do extra work with the promise of a pizza party. (you mean i can work tons of overtime and never do anything fun, then, at the end of the month, get to have some lukewarm pizza at my desk? AWESOME, i don't even like pizza!) at least that is what it is like at my job.
a week or so before valentine's day, they put out this flyer saying that we were gonna have a party, and everyone was gonna pass out valentines and they were gonna have a contest for the best valentines mailbox. you know, like the shoebox things from elementary school.
i was real jazzed. i mean, i am not all about "participating". i think it is some kind of leftover thing from when i was some high school. i just don't get into that stuff. but the valentines mailbox was right up my alley. i just love that kind of crafty crap. and i was pretty convinced that i would be able to completely WHOOP ASS. IN YOUR FACE, ACCOUNTING!!! SUCK ON MY AWESOME VALENTINES MAILBOX, EFF-ING INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY DEPARTMENT!!!!! whew.
so, i went to CVS, all power-hungry. i had my eyes on the prize. i got all kinds of tissue-paper and glue, and i got this irridescent blue paper stuff. i got the sweetest-shaped box. i went home, and parked out at the kitchen table. i cut all the tissue paper into one-inch squares. then i started glueing little tufts of tissue paper on the box, slowly and methodically. super anal-retentive. i was gonna make the fluffiest and romantic box ever.
(one hour later)
guy: what are you doing?
me: making a valentines box for the contest at work.
guy: what is the prize?
me: i dunno. power. EXTREME POWER
guy: i bet the prize is candy. you are gonna feel real dumb when you spend two days making a valentines box, and you just win candy. you don't even eat candy.
me: the prize is POWER. maybe it will be candy, but the candy will come with great power.
(three hours later)
my fingers started hurting like none other. the box was only an eighth of the way done. tufting takes forever. i seemed to forget the last time when i tufted something, and it took me a month to make a penguin-shaped pinata. things started to look bleak.
the next day after work, i started working on it again. i had to have it done the next day. i put a couple more tufts on it, and then i sat in the bathtub and read cosmo for two hours and went to bed.
i don't even think i went to work that day. the sheer thought of all the power left me so weak that not only could i not finish my valentines box, i had to take a sick day.
"
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
busy morning at work
for lack of a better reason....I was bored this morning and rearranged my desk at work.
It's a new year, let's mix it up! Take a look:
It's a new year, let's mix it up! Take a look:
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