email from an old friend

sometimes it takes an old friend to give you some perspective and repeat what you've just said to let you hear it back.
i've recently had one of those. (p.s.-i sound like a nut case)
2007...i'm ready for some new and exciting changes. God bless friends.

"There's nothing sad about mediocrity. Especially since you're still in an adjustment period. Don't get too ahead of yourself, or the foundation will crack. You can't force life too much.

Why are you trying so hard to start over with your friendships? The old ones must be pretty bad to feel like you have to start completely over. I wonder, how many times have you started over? You create your life like a painter creating a landscape, but there are too many things that will forever be out of your control. The colors don't always come out like you imagined. You can force yourself on a creation, but not on life. Still, best of luck. You don't sound too happy.

You are going to do some soul searching? There's never anything wrong with that. Take your time with it though. The soul is a tricky thing. Right when you think you have it cornered, right when you think you have it in your sights, that's when that sneaky little thing slips away again.

Who's questioning your identity? Yourself, or someone else? God Jami, what a beautiful day it will be for you when someone questions your identity, and you can look them straight in the eye and answer them without blinking, "This is who I am." But it'll always just be a snapshot, a still life photo, because identity is always changing, just like everything else, especially at our age. Speaking of which, welcome to that ripe old age of twenty-three. Hope it's good for you.

You are remembering how hard and sucky dating is. I remember you saying a few times that you would be glad when you don’t have to date anymore. You don’t want to deal with the awkwardness and stress. I'm sorry. It isn't that fun, I know. Here's what I do, just have a good time. For yourself. Enjoy a meal, a movie, and activity for the sole purpose of enjoying yourself. Forget about the other person, trying to impress them, trying to sell yourself or not seem foolish. Just be who you are and enjoy it in the world of your own mind. The rest can come along naturally. If it's not working with someone, then move on. It's a luxury you have now, and you should take full advantage of it.

Jeez, you crack me up. Cuz then you go on to say that "all in all, things are good" with three exclamation points nonetheless. Christmas was disappointing, you're stressed about starting school, you're sad that life is mediocre, you feel the need to do some soul searching, dating is hard, and to top it all off MUSIC has taken a BACKBURNER???!! I don't get it. Are you being straight up with me?"

God bless friends.