"The soul of God is poured into the world through the thoughts of men." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


As you may, or may not know, I have accepted the challenge and am participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in June of 2008.

Every three minutes, another woman in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer! I was shocked to learn how prevalent this horrible disease has become in our country. This issue quickly became very near and dear to my heart!

I am eager to get started with my fundraising and I need your support! I have pledged to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer as part of my participation in the walk. Contributions will help to support medical research into the possible causes of and cure for breast cancer, education and early detection programs, and clinical care and support services for women with breast cancer in communities across the country. There is a special focus on helping medically underserved women, the poor, minorities, the elderly, or those with inadequate health insurance. And much of the money granted by the Foundation goes back to the communities where it was raised, supporting everything from local grassroots programs to national organizations.

It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make a donation online by simply clicking on the link to my personal walk page! Whatever you can give will help! I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Thank you for your support; you really do make a difference.

Click here to visit my personal page.

happy birthday Michaela!

today little michaela budd turned 2! this is the giant cupcake i made her for her birthday! :)

when asked "michaela, what do you want for your birthday?" ....
she responded, "BIG CAKE!"

Sunday, August 05, 2007

"beautiful disaster....."

I was driving home tonight and the windows were down and the music was so loud and I was happy.

I was happy and things were fine and I was going home because Grey's Anatomy doesn't just watch itself.

I was fine with life the way it was, really. I was happy. And then the radio said I could be Caller Twenty and I could win tickets to 311. I can admit that Creatures and Down are practically the same song. I can admit that I bought a few of their albums and don't ever actually listen to them because, really, it's all the same.

But I still would love to see them in concert. And I would still love to win tickets on the radio. A couple weekends ago they were giving away Dave Matthews tickets and I actually listened to a different radio station because I couldn't handle the disappointment.

But it was such a surprise tonight and it was late enough that I knew I had a chance so I dialed real quick like and the phone! it was ringing! RINGING! Aside from that one other blog-worthy time I've always gotten a busy signal. But not tonight.

My spirits rose, my heart rate quickened, and I counted the rings. After four I panicked and thought I had dialed the wrong number. I looked at my phone, psyched myself out, and hung up. I redialed and IT WAS BUSY.

BUSY SIGNAL.

Of course, I hadn't dialed incorrectly. The ringing was because I was actually going to get through. I could have had it. I could have been Caller Twenty.

But no. I had to be stupid and hang up. Awesome.

Monday, July 30, 2007

my secret plan to take over the world


step one:
get out of debt

step two:
inheiret (or marry someone with) an oil refinery

step three:
buy the Yankees (sabotage)

taboo



In an authentic manner, the whole point to make art is to:
1. create and then…

2. talk.
3. discuss.
4. converse.
5. engage.
6. share.
7. encourage.
8. involve.
9. commune.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

two pages + two weeks

I finished a book a week or so ago...mainly about two christian young men who decide to leave their upper-middle class status, and take on the lives of homeless men among the streets of Portland, Phoenix, Denver, and D.C. for three months.

As I was contemplating God's promise and the notion of risk within my own life, I was encouraged by the last two pages:


"That first night on the streets of D.C., when it felt like Sam and I had dropped into oblivion, I prayed a desperate prayer: "Jesus, be our Rock."
And He was.
Even though the months brought more challenges than we could have imagined, even though we came to the end of ourselves again and again, Jesus held us safe in His power. And He will do the same for you too.
What if following Him is hard? What if along the way He asks you to accomplish difficult tasks or to overcome intimidating obstacles? What if it requires more of you than you have to give?...
...God probably isn't calling you to live on the streets like He did Sam and me, but He IS calling you- like He does each of His children-to take important risks of faith that are unique to you and your opportunities. I doubt those risks will have much to do with putting on a Christian acronym bracelet or a cross t-shirt. More likely, your journey will lead you toward utter dependence on the King of kings and a resolution to follow Him wherever He may ask you to go. That is might be to the streets, to you friends and family, to your neighbor, or to a stranger you haven't even met yet.
Still not sure what your risk might be? Then I dare you to ask yourself a reality-rattling question: "What would i do during my day or in my life for God if I wasn't concerned with what I wear, what I eat, where I sleep, what I own, what people think of me, or what discomforts I face?" Think about your answer. You're probably at least in the neighborhood of where your personal journey starts.
If my question sounds a little over the edge, think of it as a rephrasing of the invitation Jesus presents to all His chosen ones:

"Then Jesus said to his diciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.' (Matthew 16:24-25)

The next step on a journey of faith always feels risky and a little scary. but, it's also always terribly important and incredibly promising-and it's always up to us to take.
So join Sam and me and so many others in our generation. This Jesus we follow is the Redeemer of the world. The God we serve is the Rock on whom we stand. He's sure, steadfast, and worthy of our trust. He's calling us to live this life abandoned to Him, encouraged at all points by His Spirit and His Word and His people, looking to him for all we need.
There's only the left to do:
Walk off the edge with Him. "

(taken from: : "Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America" by Mike Yankoski)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

"...give a little bit..."



life seems a little more complete with someone holding your hand

Saturday, July 07, 2007

this is what 5 days hiding in KCMO looks like:

awesome finds at an antique mall!

james: wild aces catcher extraordinaire!!


gold/bronze/green pumps, SCORE!


Royals fan memorabilia to prove i'm "true blue"


seeing the first baseball team i ever knew at "kauff park"

(man i love my boys in #7!!!)
:)
p.s. - they won....i'd like to think I had something to do with it....

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Happy 4th of July!


Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated.
But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr, noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart.
Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.
Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education.
They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."
They gave you and me a free and independent America. The history books never told you a lot about what happened in the Revolutionary War.
We didn't fight just the British, we were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government!

Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't.
So take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

What happened to men and human beings like this?!
Remember: Freedom is never free.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

the "I can" complex

I have a little confession.

I am horrible about letting people help me.
I like it when people help me...I've gotten better/more comfortable with it...but i have this horrible habit of thinking, "I can do it ALL by myself"

Back in the day of Masters, they would send volunteers to me to help with the arts/responsive worship/prayer space, etc..which these volunteers would eventually know that I'd "get in the zone" and wouldn't be a very good deligator. Or I wanted it done "just so".
I always ended up deligating them to OTHER people.
I know. Horrible.


I'm not sure where this "I can do it all by myself" thing comes from. Is it a youngest child thing?(tring to be as big as everyone else?)...a fear of inconveniencing other people?...a sense of control?...hummm....

I'm learning to really put my hands up and let God move more, in addition to those around me. I think that it is a detriment at times to not have confidence in others and to always do it yourself because of fear that it won't turn out the way YOU want it to. I think constantly having this form of control sometimes keeps other people from growing, whether its in ministry or just daily life--and maybe causes a person to rely too much on their own human capabilities instead of letting God meddle (and let others meddle and help)...

Sometimes we also want to distinguish what we do, and how it is part of who we are. Sometimes we get uncomfortable with the possibility of losing that. We don't want someone else to have our job, because we're just so darn good at it.
Thats just silly.
This is something else I"m learning. As I prepare to leave in (average) two months...I'm having to face the fact that I will not be here, at home, to do what I have been doing for the past two years. I'm excited to move....actually...extremely excited...but I'm already worrying about who will take care of my mom, and if they will even be as good. Here comes in that sense of "I can do it all by myself".

Letting God move is hard. Trusting God is hard. And, sometimes realizing that I CAN'T do it all by myself is ok...

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

5 things...

5 things I dig about Jesus...

1. Totally Human
We hear a lot about Jesus being totally God, and I believe that. But what I love is that he became totally human, and a totally poor and marginalized one at that... meaning that he experienced the same kind of crap the most desperate sufferer goes through. He's a God who not only cares about our suffering, but He truly understands it.

2. Unconditional Love
Jesus loved everyone... even when he was chasing them out of the temple with a whip. He loved 'em so much that one of the last things he says on the cross is, "Father, forgive them!" Amazing.

3. Uncompromising Truth
Jesus said it plainly... it's hard for self-serving people to enter the kingdom of God. Narrow path, small gate, few are those who find it. His message was simple and clear, repent to be spiritually born again and follow me into my kingdom... the kingdom of God. A lot of people couldn't swallow his challenge. A lot still can't. And while his heart and ours breaks for them, the truth remains the absolute standard by which we are all judged. That's fierce; and I love it.

4. He Called Losers and Outcasts ... Like Me

While other rabbis were picking and choosing the best of the best who would apply to be their disciples, Jesus was choosing fishermen, tax-collectors, and other dropouts to be his. Those are the ones he used to change the world and still does. I have the memory of a hampster and the self-discipline of a wet noodle; and yet I get to join Jesus' band of disciples... his Talmidim. He believes in us losers and he redefines our self-understanding to embrace the glory he created and restored in us. Awesome.

5. He Died For Us
Seriously, how can you not love an innocent person who loves you so much that they give everything, including their own life, so save your butt? I honestly cannot understand how we can look at the cross and not love Jesus. Who else would go through all that for us?

Monday, June 25, 2007

Fashion Critic: "Don't Wear Your Crocs in Public"


George W. Bush was photographed recently in a pair of black Crocs – as he was heading out from the White House to ride his bike. He wore the clunky resin clogs -- which have ventilation holes and a heel strap --.He had the backstraps of his Crocs flipped forward so they rested on the top of the shoes -- turning them into slides.

----------------------------

Sure I love wearing mine while baking and occasionally will run in them to walmart for more sugar/eggs/flour (whatever)...But wear them while at home and in your garden, but please don't go out and about with them on! That's how I feel about this "most annoyingly omnipresent style of summer footwear." (quote from me)

i'll hold you close in the back of my mind

la cienega just smiled....

....just changed my world

Thursday, June 21, 2007

St. Jude

Patron Saint of lost Causes.




Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.
-St. Francis of Assisi

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

this is what watching the Yankees looks like:


...and yes....that's josh's nose in the shot.

we got to see jeter...


...and damon :)

Monday, June 18, 2007

a different perspective

“This is an emergency - normal rules don’t apply. There are no easy good or bad guys. Do you think an African mother cares if the drugs keeping her child alive are thanks to an iPod or a church plate? Or a Democrat or a Republican? I don’t think that mother gives a damn about where that 20-cent pill comes from, so why should we. It can lead to some uncomfortable bedfellows, but sometimes less sleep means you are more awake.”
- Bono on Africa from the current issue of Vanity Fair

Sunday, June 17, 2007

father's day



One night a father overheard his son pray:

"Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is."

Later that night, the Father prayed,

"Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be."

Friday, June 15, 2007

complaining about the weather

CNN weather anchor and severe weather expert Chad Myers introduced his segment this morning with a look at the Baghdad forecast.

"Wanna complain about the weather?" he asked. "Take a look at this from Baghdad."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

stop to smell the flowers...



Today is that kind of day.

IT'S BEAUTIFULLY PERFECT OUTSIDE!!!